April Grantham Sins Of Drought

April Grantham cares about the environment, cares about animals, even cares about people. This quaint tub and the prospect of a cooling bath made April indulge in the, arguably, unnecessary water use; but for a good cause. See, California is in the midst of a serious drought. I have driven through areas that resemble the Dust Bowl from the 1930s.

I have seen lakes that have all but dried up completely. Lakeside real estate and the boating community is suffering dearly. This is serious. The dire situation calls for drastic measures. If you are an attractive person and you crave a bath, I urge you to have someone with a camera document the event. You might as well share the enjoyment with as many possible. Thanks for leading the way, April. In all seriousness, please send water.

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Nina North Warm Smell of Colitas

Nina North is back in Los Angeles. She gets bold on the beach this time around. Many tourists, and possibly locals, stop on the PCH to enjoy the views. I like to trip on the thought of all the history this region has seen.

From Walt Disney to Helter Skelter, Southern California has been one of America’s favorite whores. And you have to respect and show gratitude, especially to whores. Keep the beach clean and pick up after yourself. Nina did not require any retouching, but I can not say the same about the coastline.

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Emmy Sinclair American Missile

Americans, hope your holiday weekend was a blast. Hope you still have all ten fingers attached after a night of fireworks. When I was a kid, the Fourth meant a live-ammunition battle with toy soldiers. These days, I am perfectly content with the decision to trade in my G.I. Joes for dolls like Emmy Sinclair.

Patriotism is all fine and good to a certain point, but in the end, I hope everyone can see that flags and borders are a bunch of horse shit. I pledge allegiance to Team Human. War’s “Galaxy” plays in the bonus video.

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