Kenze Thomas Has It Mike’s Way

Kenze Thomas is one of the most adorable girls that I have ever worked with. If she is representative of the typical Iowa girl, then I shall be relocating soon. She wants to one day become a doctor and is in college working towards that aim.

She had her shy moments, but in the end, went along with all my antics. We had a sub at Jersey Mike’s, which Kenze had to admit is WAY better than Subway. Sorry, Jared. She also showed me some tongue tricks. I didn’t realize how hard it is to lick your own elbow. I bet you end up giving it a shot.

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April Grantham When Nature Calls

I like April Grantham. She is super chill and ready to enjoy nature. These were taken in one of the canyons in the Topanga/Malibu area. We went for a hike and both agreed that our situation did not suck. The land was parched due to the drought here in California, but we also had no job or class to report to on this day.

Guess you just gotta appreciate the positive in life and not dwell on the negative. For instance, most of us can celebrate the fact that we were not choked to death by a cop this week. Aphex Twin’s “Rhubarb” is the song in the bonus video.

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Geri Burgess Type Oh

Captain Obvious here again to report that Geri Burgess is incredible. A few months ago, her beauty earned her a contract with a “mainstream” modeling agency. However, recently someone posted all her Zishy links along with her agency page to an online forum. It was surprising since she is published here under a pseudonym.

So someone either seriously did their homework, or what I suspect is more likely, someone who personally knows Geri did her this disservice. Long story short, Geri seems to have been dropped by the moronic agency. I did my best to console her and said she was better off without them. They seemed too small-time for Geri’s potential anyways. Puritans really have no business representing the Bold & Beautiful of this world.

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Lily Ivy The New Black

You probably love Lily Ivy. You probably think she is the cat’s jamjams. You are probably smitten by her lively, kinky personality. Or is it her crazy good looks?

Whatever it is, you oughtta be ashamed of yourself. Be original. Resist those charms, mang. Show a little self control. Don’t be so predictable. Don’t be like me.

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April Grantham Permanent Staycation

I once had a job. It was not exactly what I would call a stressful job, and I did work for a great man. Just the same, it was a job and it sucked. I am not saying that you should say fuck-all to your ‘career’, refuse to sit in front of a computer trying to make other people rich, and just do something that makes you happy. I would never say that. However, it did work for me (so far). And no, my life is not perfect, in fact, very far from it.

But most days, even if just for a few moments, you will find something bright from ear to ear on my face. And no one ever confuses it as belonging to someone else. April Grantham hardly ever stops smiling. It appears to be completely natural. I dig that. The song April rocks out to in the video is “Dance Pt. 1” from the Rolling Stones.

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Gillian Barnes Irish Chipotle

By heavy demand, Gillian Barnes returns. You guys probably liked her also. Gillian can be shy, but once she warms up, she reminds me why I do this sort of thing.

Beauty is fleeting, which is probably we why all consider it special and which why many of us try to hold on to it with a kung fu death grip. Thank Gillian for making your world a happier place. I have.

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Payton Demilo Got the M Word

Some people are blessed and they don’t even know it. When I first met Payton Demilo, she was shy about her backside. The size of her breasts were also one of her concerns. Maybe I am out of touch, a little out of tune, but every time I lay eyes on Payton’s womanly figure, it reminds me of climbing the rope in gym class.

Yes, a Wayne’s World reference. Damn, I am old. Payton is wonderful and if I had to guess, was hungry to be appreciated. I say count your blessings.

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Nina North Warm Smell of Colitas

Nina North is back in Los Angeles. She gets bold on the beach this time around. Many tourists, and possibly locals, stop on the PCH to enjoy the views. I like to trip on the thought of all the history this region has seen.

From Walt Disney to Helter Skelter, Southern California has been one of America’s favorite whores. And you have to respect and show gratitude, especially to whores. Keep the beach clean and pick up after yourself. Nina did not require any retouching, but I can not say the same about the coastline.

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Abby Vissers Subway Blows

Subway blows, but I still eat it from time to time. It puts on a decent facade of being healthy. Its locations are ubiquitous. And I think they sprinkle their food with crack. Just the same, I find Abby Vissers to be 2,487 times more appealing than “eating fresh”.

Abby’s freckles are from Minnesota. She told me she would not do video. She finds herself to be too awkward. How many of you agree? Jake Weber’s instrumental cover of Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” is the song in the bonus video.

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Jessica Marco On The River Walk

I am going to miss San Antonio. I will not be returning there as often since my parents moved to Austin. The Alamo city has a great vibe and offers sanctuary compared to Los Angeles, which I can’t say the same for the state capital.

On this day, I took Jessica Marco to the River Walk, a popular destination in the heart of downtown SATX. At first, it was sunny, then came clouds and humidity. And as we drove off, it began to rain. Jessica sweated up a storm of her own in the backseat. Note to self: Always carry a towel. Los Lonely Boys play ‘Heaven’ in the bonus video.

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