Kenze Thomas Has It Mike’s Way

Kenze Thomas is one of the most adorable girls that I have ever worked with. If she is representative of the typical Iowa girl, then I shall be relocating soon. She wants to one day become a doctor and is in college working towards that aim.

She had her shy moments, but in the end, went along with all my antics. We had a sub at Jersey Mike’s, which Kenze had to admit is WAY better than Subway. Sorry, Jared. She also showed me some tongue tricks. I didn’t realize how hard it is to lick your own elbow. I bet you end up giving it a shot.

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April Grantham When Nature Calls

I like April Grantham. She is super chill and ready to enjoy nature. These were taken in one of the canyons in the Topanga/Malibu area. We went for a hike and both agreed that our situation did not suck. The land was parched due to the drought here in California, but we also had no job or class to report to on this day.

Guess you just gotta appreciate the positive in life and not dwell on the negative. For instance, most of us can celebrate the fact that we were not choked to death by a cop this week. Aphex Twin’s “Rhubarb” is the song in the bonus video.

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Geri Burgess Type Oh

Captain Obvious here again to report that Geri Burgess is incredible. A few months ago, her beauty earned her a contract with a “mainstream” modeling agency. However, recently someone posted all her Zishy links along with her agency page to an online forum. It was surprising since she is published here under a pseudonym.

So someone either seriously did their homework, or what I suspect is more likely, someone who personally knows Geri did her this disservice. Long story short, Geri seems to have been dropped by the moronic agency. I did my best to console her and said she was better off without them. They seemed too small-time for Geri’s potential anyways. Puritans really have no business representing the Bold & Beautiful of this world.

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Natalie Austin Hanging Outlets

Back in Houston, Natalie Austin and I visit an outlet mall. This curvy twenty-year-old is brave. The sweater she walked around in offered less than complete coverage. Then, her white tank left little to the imagination.

I wonder if the young men working the kiosks will remember the sight. They certainly could not let the vision pass without some excited commentary. The Pooh and Clifford rides ate our quarters. Would have made for a cute video clip. Total buzzkill. Song in the bonus video is “Talk to Me” by Peaches.

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Lily Ivy California Calls

It was one of those warm Summer days that makes the distant Winter seem like a movie you once watched, but can not quite recall the plot of. Lily Ivy was able to experience Santa Monica for the first time in perfect beach-going weather. Lily is from Tennessee. Recently, she learned how to wield her beauty and sexuality in front of a webcam for a living.

I asked her if she has uncovered any kinks of her own. She confessed to deriving pleasure from being spit upon. From the bonus video, it seems that might go both ways for Lily. The melody is an instrumental version of ‘If I were a rich man’ from “Fiddler on the Roof”.

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Lily Ivy The New Black

You probably love Lily Ivy. You probably think she is the cat’s jamjams. You are probably smitten by her lively, kinky personality. Or is it her crazy good looks?

Whatever it is, you oughtta be ashamed of yourself. Be original. Resist those charms, mang. Show a little self control. Don’t be so predictable. Don’t be like me.

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April Grantham Permanent Staycation

I once had a job. It was not exactly what I would call a stressful job, and I did work for a great man. Just the same, it was a job and it sucked. I am not saying that you should say fuck-all to your ‘career’, refuse to sit in front of a computer trying to make other people rich, and just do something that makes you happy. I would never say that. However, it did work for me (so far). And no, my life is not perfect, in fact, very far from it.

But most days, even if just for a few moments, you will find something bright from ear to ear on my face. And no one ever confuses it as belonging to someone else. April Grantham hardly ever stops smiling. It appears to be completely natural. I dig that. The song April rocks out to in the video is “Dance Pt. 1” from the Rolling Stones.

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