Bree Abernathy Orange Banana

For this gallery, I got a true ginger in the Zishy suit. Bree Abernathy has a Kristen Wiig type of personality: confident, comical, and unafraid to push the limits. She brought the ukulele from a recent trip to the Hawaiian Islands.

Bree couldn’t play much, but that is easily forgivable. Does anyone ever truly master the instrument after they buy it as a souvenir? Doubtful. She might not be an Iz, but iz still entertaining. Rock on, Bree.

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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Parker Mixon My Trail Guide

These are remnants from only a couple months back, when the weather was warm and the days were long. Parker Mixon’s soft skin dazzled in the San Antonio sun. It doesn’t take much for this adorable girl-next-door to catch my attention. I would have never guessed that a polo shirt and flat sandals could be so enticing.

My siblings and I stayed at home instead of being sent to Summer camp. But if I had, I wish my camp counselor would have resembled Parker. Our camp experience came vicariously from Nickelodeon’s ‘Hey Dude’ show, which if I recall correctly, had several attractive female characters. Thanks, Nick!

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Marley Kunis Spider Monkeyin

This is the night that I met Marley Kunis. She’s a wonderful girl from Portland who thought she would come out to LA and make some quick money in the adult industry. That decision was probably fueled by her eccentric spirit which seems difficult to contain.

Before her first hardcore scene, Marley had a change of heart and decided to cut her losses and head back home in tears. Later, when I asked what happened, she said she ‘pussied’ out. I disagree. I think it took more courage to make a last-minute 180 than to just go with the flow to avoid disappointing others. I suppose when you are all of 18 years old, being a bit flaky can be excused.

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Dillion Harper Little Squirt

Dillion Harper is unique inside and out. On the surface, she has one of the most striking figures I have ever seen. And inside, she has a sweet and accommodating personality to write home about.

We hit up Taco Bell for snacks on this warm day and then I showed Dillion a talking seagull at the gas station at Sunset and PCH. No joke. Just about anything is possible in Malibu.

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (7 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5)
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Jessica Robbin Pink Pop

This is not a Pink’s hot dog that Jessica Robbin is munching on, however, it is actually my favorite hot dog in Los Angeles. It is a large Hebrew National from a little place known as Costco. You can get one WITH a soda for an absurd price of $1.50 and you do not even have to have a Costco membership.

Jessica was hungry and craved something quick & meaty, so I let her experience my secret pleasure (forgive all the innuendo). This Floridian is hilarious and knows how to cut loose in front of the camera. It is interesting to see what personality an adult performer will reveal when you don’t act like every other dude by trying to bang them.

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Natalie Moore Wrong India

Natalie Moore is sort of like the honey badger. She doesn’t give a shit. That’s why I dig her. The other day, a totally different girl told me that she would not shoot for the site because she only did fine art modeling. And this is a girl who does nudes…you know, those black and white cookie-cutter images you’ve seen 1,000 times.

She said she didn’t do any work that: “depicted her as a sex icon, she only did photos that captured the body as art.” Well friends, I hope you all know that you are simple-minded pervs who do not understand how to appreciate these girls’ beauty as art. RetARTed. Guess they all can’t be as fly as NatMo.

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Noyemi Chenian Rebel Sesh

A while back, when I was renting a portrait studio, for Gawd knows what reason, I met Noyemi Chenian. She is one of the many Armenian Americans who call Glendale, CA their home. She wanted to get some sexy rebellious shots for her modeling portfolio and I was much obliged to help.

Her hair was in its own rebellion due to a rare LA rain shower, but 19 year-old “No” was stunning. Although the whole gallery leaves quite a bit un-revealed, I figured it was better to share Noyemi’s beauty rather than not. Before you swarm me with requests, know that your humble narrator has already tried to get her back for more risque material. Tried.

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Lauren Clare Foul Ball Area

Yes, baseball season has passed for the year, but that did not deter Lauren Clare and I from exploiting this field in Beverly Hills. Lauren is a petite 18 year-old from Kentucky. Apparently, her modeling makes her insecure boyfriend feel, well, insecure. All I have to say is if you are fortunate enough to date a girl who is sought after for modeling, you should thank your lucky stars and hold thy tongue.

I’ve learned that a girl is going to do what a girl wants to do. And unless you DON’T want to continue enjoying her in your bed, you better get over your irrational desire to control. Patrons of this park would agree, you got something good going on, mang. Do not F it up.

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Tristan Berrimore Home Entertainment

Here we have Tristan Berrimore playing video games, which is obviously a fiction. We all know girls do not play video games. Let’s not kid ourselves, guys. If you want to meet women, put down that controller and go to a yoga class or take some Salsa lessons. Go ahead and crucify me and talk about the rare exceptions to the rule.

But never forget the reasoning behind the rule. Tristan was having a bit too much fun relaxing in the chair, so I suggested she get her heart pumping on the elliptical trainer. Oddly enough, it mostly just sent my heart racing.

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Zishy Kendra Sunderland in Tiny Bubbles Bubble Bath

It has been about a year since I first met Kendra Sunderland. A lot of people know the vague details of her story: girl gets caught masturbating on webcam in her college library. I remember reading the viral news articles and thinking; Goddamn, it would be fantastic if I could get her on Zishy.

I sent off a few messages that night and I awoke to a promising reply in my inbox. Within 48 hours, I was on a plane to Portland. Any success I have achieved has been a result of rejecting a pessimistic mindset. Likewise, I sensed much optimism in Kendra. I know she has endured a shitload of pain and fear due to the judgment of others, and all at a young age.

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